A Life Worth Living
by CaskettBuddies
Summary: Richard Rodgers has struggled his whole life, through his mother's disappearance and being forced to live with his alcoholic uncle, to being forced onto the streets of New York City. He has never known the meaning of home. At least not until he met her; Kate Beckett. Disclaimer: No characters you recognise are ours. Our first ever collaboration. Rated T for safety. COMPLETELY AU
1. Chapter 1

_Richard Rodgers has struggled his whole life, through his mother's disappearance and being forced to live with his alcoholic uncle, to being forced onto the streets of New York City. He has never known the meaning of home. At least not until he met her; Kate Beckett._

**Tabatha's Author's Note: This is an extremely AU fanfiction and some of the characters are completely OOC at the beginning but will slowly develop more into character as it goes on, and some aspects of the characters storylines have been altered. This is my first collaboration with the amazing Ellie, who has always been there for me through thick and thin. So please be gentle but be critical.**

NONE OF THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ELLIE OR I. WE ARE JUST BORROWING THEM AND TWISTING THEM FOR FUN. ALL CHARACTERS YOU RECOGNISE BELONG TO THE SHOW WRITERS.

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People think of New York City and they think of Broadway and neon lights, of the bustle of people on the streets and the tail-to-tail traffic. The Big Apple, the City that Never Sleeps. But nobody really thinks of the slums or the alleyways between the buildings, and more specifically, the people that live there. Hell, most people don't think of those in _any_ the chance that they do, they either ridicule them or they throw money at them with some pitying remark and not a second glance.

It was no different for him.

Most of the time, he sits in the space between a coffee shop and some small lawyer's office, huddled up with his legs drawn up to his chest with his head leaned back and resting on the wall. Here he isn't bothered by the angry yells of restaurant managers who are throwing out the trash or the scowls thrown at him by passersby. Mostly he is just ignored, invisible to the people rushing to and from wherever it is they're going. That is how he's spent most of his life - invisible, that or hiding from the drunken rage of his uncle. The few friends he had inevitably left for one reason or another, so it isn't like it's anything new. His whole life he has been almost completely alone.

It is early in the morning on a cold Monday sometime in late November and the weather is bitter and dull, his thin coat doing almost nothing against the biting cold. As usual, his mind has begun to wander, listening to the sounds of the few people passing by at this early hour, never looking up, never asking for anything from anyone, preparing to get through another day. He only looks up when he hears the clack of high-heeled clack of shoes stop next to him. He dares to glance up and standing before him is a woman, and _God_ she's gorgeous. A mile high with long caramel colored curls softly framing her face. And her beautiful hazel-green eyes are looking at him, actually _looking _at him in a way he doesn't think anyone has ever looked at him. It's like for the first time in his pitiful life someone was actually looking _within _him.

He thinks he feels his heart stop.

She doesn't normally go to this coffee shop, usually just going for the piss-poor crap that passes for coffee at the precinct. But last night had been rough and she hadn't gotten much sleep so today, she needed the good stuff.

She is about to step into the shop when she spots him.

He's young, very young. Maybe late twenties to early thirties. He's curled up against the wall, knees drawn up with his arms banding around them, his shoulders hunched in a feeble attempt to block out the cold, which his miserable excuse for a coat was completely useless against. Even from here she can see the gauntness to his face, the sunken-in quality around his eyes and the light scruff that covers his jaws. His hair is thick and shaggy, dark bangs hanging over his eyes, and falling nearly down to the base of his neck. He's not scrawny but he is definitely thinner than what should be considered healthy. To a normal person, he would look like the typical New York homeless man. To anybody but her.

His whole being radiated misery. His curled up figure looking as if he was trying to protect himself from more than just the cold. His eyes had a hollowness to it that spoke of years of pain and loneliness. He looked defeated. Like the world had thrown too much shit at him and he decided it wasn't worth it to fight anymore

This is what she sees. Because she has felt all of it herself. To this degree? Of course not. She had people to pull her back up after her mother's death, but for this man-it looked like he had suffered an entire war alone.

After a minute, the man seemed to notice she was there and glanced up at her. She had to keep herself from taking a step backwards at the look in his eyes. There was so much pain, so much loneliness and longing mixed in with a swirl of others that she couldn't name. He was not like the other homeless people she had encountered. He didn't beg for money he didn't give her some pathetic story to gain sympathy. He just sat there looking as if he wished he was anywhere but there. No, his eyes were the begging of a different kind - a begging for everything to end and it just about broke her heart.

When they say eyes are the window to the soul, they aren't lying. His eyes bore into hers as she stands there. The tragically beautiful blue orbs swallowing her in, like bottomless oceans she could get lost in for hours, she could drown in them. She was right. The pain in his eyes was so raw and the fear she saw there as he stared at her struck something deep inside her. No matter what things a person had done in their life, nobody deserves the pain she sees in those eyes. Many things she might wish for them to endure, but not this.

She stared at him for a long time, at the man shivering before her, his fear so prominent. Fear she thinks is of her. But behind that fear she thinks she sees just the slightest shimmer of hope.

The tinkling of the bell on the coffee shop door breaks her out of her trance as she brings her eyes up to the tiny building. With one last glance to the man, she steps into the shop herself.

His heart drops in his chest when she walks away and he suddenly hates himself for being foolish enough to hope. When had anybody ever cared about him? About the worthless man on the streets. He feels the emotions of being rejected swell up in his chest anyways and he has to close his eyes against it.

When he feels the warmth of someone kneeling next to him mere minutes later, he lifts his head and startles, nearly hitting his head on the wall.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" she said, her voice quiet and gentle, her eyes soft on his. In her hands was a piping cup of coffee, steam billowing in the air. The smell was glorious and his mouth watered with craving. He flicked his eyes back to her face with incomprehension and nervousness.

People don't do this. No matter how much he hopes, no matter what he does, people don't talk to him; they turned their noses up at him and walk away. But she was. And he wanted to trust her, wanted to talk to her, but he knew now how people betrayed you, turn their back on you. How ironic to hope for something so badly and not be able to accept it when it's right in front of your face.

When he doesn't respond she holds the coffee out in front of her as well as a small paper bag he hadn't seen. "You look like you could use this".

He stared at the goods for a long time, swallowing thickly. He had to force himself not to reach out and grab it.

He remains silent.

She chuckles softly, a friendly sound of amusement low in her throat. She sets the coffee and the bag down beside him and reaches out to briefly touch his leg and he closes his eyes at the touch. "I understand" she says softly, her eyes so bright and intent on his, so kind. She stands and looks down at him for a few seconds more before she speaks again "I'm Kate, by the way".

And with those five words, she slowly walks away, the clack of her heals left ringing in his ear and he can't stop watching, wondering what the hell just happened.

She walks out of sight and his eyes return to the goods at his side and slowly reaches out to grab them. He opens the paper bag and pulls out a warm pastry that smells of freshly baked dough an honey - a bearclaw, he thinks it's called - and his stomach growls in response. He brings the pastry to his mouth and takes a bite. He closes his eyes at the wonderful, rich taste. Never before had he tasted anything like it. The food he manages to scrounge is bearable at best and never easy to come by. He felt like this food was a miracle itself.

He reaches for the coffee, its warmth seeping into his frozen hands. He takes a long, deep gulp and feels the blissfully hot fluid slip down his throat, immediately feeling its warmth zip through his veins.

He slowly finishes the bearclaw and the breakfast, wanting to savor every drop and every bite of it, unsure of when he would get something like it again. He sends up his silent thanks to the sky for whoever that woman was and couldn't help but wonder if he would ever see her again.

But neither of them were aware that today's encounter was one that was going to save his life and put them both on a path he never dared to dream of.


	2. Chapter 2

_Summery: Richard Rodgers has struggled his whole life. Through his mother's disappearance and being forced to live with his alcoholic uncle, to being forced to live on the streets of New York. He has never known the meaning of home; not until he met her._

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews! Not only is this a first collaboration for us, but this is my first ever time to write fanfiction so your reviews mean a lot! Just so we can get the timeline straight, it is 2014 but it is only 8 years after Kate's mother's murder. She is the same age as when the series started, but Rick will be a little bit younger. Anyways, since this is my first story, suggestions, comments, and constructive criticism are welcome! Just be nice, please**

Her eyes flittered down to the white papers dotted with black ink. That was all she could make out, not the letters, nor words, let alone sentences. Distracted was all she was since she had arrived at the precinct an hour and a half earlier. She checked her watch and frowned. It was only nine in the morning. She felt as if she had been filling out paperwork for hours. She almost wished a body would drop.

She had told her partners to take the day off. It had been a gruelling case-two teenagers, a girl and a boy, were found stuffed in garbage bags and thrown into the Hudson. They came up with dead end after dead end and she had pushed them harder than she normally did, even snapping at them multiple times when her patience began to wear thin. So they deserved the break. Except now that meant being stuck at the precinct alone with a huge stack of papers and a runaway mind.

It was at least the tenth time her hand had found itself shoving her hair back from her face in frustration. She couldn't stop thinking about him, the man in the alleyway. Could not take her mind off his beautiful cerulean blue eyes, the pain and the fear she saw there, the loneliness, the emptiness she knew all too well. She wished there was more she could do for him, but at least she did something, and she hoped that, somehow, it helped.

She couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him. In her life she had seen countless homeless people on the street, especially since she had become a cop. But those people were either unstable or hopeless beggars, bugging the general population for money for booze or drugs. None of them were like this man. Subdued. Afraid. Lonely. Curled up as if he wanted to disappear, hide from the world - begging of a different kind. It made her heart clench.

A sigh reluctantly escaped her lips, knowing she was not going to get any of her work done. Not with him planting himself in her mind. Probably warmer in there, she thought darkly.

She thought back to a few years ago, to her own darkness, remembering how lonely she felt and how grateful she was to have had her father. It made it more bearable knowing that she still had him. Did he have anybody?

Finally giving up her futile attempt to finish the paperwork, she pushed back from her desk and headed to the break room. She refilled her cup with the piss-poor excuse for coffee and leaned back on the counter and sighed.

She shouldn't be this worked up over a random stranger that she didn't know. But the fact was, she did. Maybe it was this feeling of connection, maybe it was her need to protect and help people. But whatever the reason, she wanted to help him. Do something to help diminish that haunted look.

She sighed again, running a hand through her hair.

She needed some perspective.

"Katie!" His shocked voice rang in her ear as he picked up her call. Two months. It had been two months since her father had laid eyes on his baby girl. And she thought that maybe it was time to change that.

"You have time for lunch, Dad?

"Yeah, of course. Katie, is everything okay?"

"Yeah Dad, I just could just use your company right now. Do you think we could meet at Remy's at around noon?", she asked

"Sure thing, sweetheart, I'll see you then." He replied softly. She could hear the smile in his voice and it warmed her heart a little bit.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll see you in a couple hours."

She hangs up with him and closes her eyes. She's missed her Dad in these last couple of months. Things have just become so busy with work that she hadn't had the time. Of course, they had talked briefly over the phone at least once a week, but she misses his company.

It had been three years since her father had quit the bottle. Before that it was five long years of coming home to him passed out on the couch and her having to clean him up. Five years of him promising to clean himself up for her. It was many years of screaming matches and bitter tears before finally, she walked away. A few months later she got a call from him telling her that he hadn't picked up a bottle since that night and he still has not to this day.

Ever since then they had been working to build their relationship back up and she was beginning to feel like she almost had her dad back again. She was so grateful that she had not lost him completely. She barely survived the months that she did. She needed her dad. He was all she had. And it was times like these when she was a kid that she would go to her him for advice when something bothered her. She needed that now.

It was around 2:15 when she finally stepped out of her car and onto the curb in front of Remy's. Shit, she was late. Figures.

She pulls her coat tightly around her and she dashes into the diner, scanning the booths for her father. He is sitting in a corner booth, a cup of coffee in his hands and one across the table from him, waiting for her. When he sees her he grins and rises from his seat to greet her, pulling her into a welcoming embrace. God, she's missed her father.

"It's so good to see you Katie. I've missed you", he says, motioning her to take a seat.

"I've missed you too, Dad", she says, a small smile gracing her lips. "I'm sorry I haven't had the time to see you lately. I just get caught up in the work, you know?"

"Yeah, I do." He smiles sadly at her. "You're just like her in that way." Her mother. Always dedicated to her clients.

Kate frowned and shifted her eyes down to stare into her coffee. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Well… not exactly that but…Its related to her…I guess…" She sighed and looked up to her father, the quiet concern in his eyes reflecting back at her.

"Tell me what's going on Katie".

She told him everything about her morning encounter with the man this morning, about his eyes and about his reaction too her, and about how deeply it all struck a cord with her.

"I don't understand it. I mean, I would understand me having sympathy for him and even buying the coffee for him, but the rest…..I mean, it has to be about Mom, right? About me? I just feel this intense need to help him, like I can identify with him, I guess. And I just don't know what to do. I want to help him, I do, but he's just some guy off the streets and…"

"I think you should help him." Her father says calmly.

Kate's eyes shoot to his. "You do?"

"Sure. It doesn't have to be any grand gesture. Just bring him coffee like you did today or try to talk to him. Small things. Just be there. You don't have to explain yourself to help someone. You found someone who is suffering, someone you identify with, and you want to help. That's a good thing, Katie. You have a good heart. Don't question it, because truthfully Katie, he needs you. I think you would have seen that even if your mom were still here."

Kate sat quietly for a long time, mulling over what he just said, her mind flashing images of him behind her eyes and she felt, once again, the tight squeeze of her heart.

"Okay", she said, nodding slowly. "You're right. He needs someone and I am not about to walk away from that", she said, a newfound resolve in her voice.

He grinned at her, his eyes bright, something she hadn't seen in a while. "I'm so proud of you, Katie, Your mom would be proud.

"Thank you, Dad, I love you"

"I love you too. Now go, you have important things to do".

She steps out into the winter evening at around 6, the sun has already disappearing behind the buildings, casting a greyish hue over the city. She takes in a deep breath, the cold air filling her lungs in a way that is refreshing. Lunch had helped her to clear her head. She had a plan now and that alone helped to ease her mind and put the thoughts at bay. She was able to shift her focus back to her work. She was exhausted and was barely paying attention to where she was going, her feet carrying her on their own accord the same route she had walked that morning. Her mind snapped back into focus when she reached the coffee shop. She walked slowly around the corner to peer into the ally. It was covered in shadows to where she almost missed him, but when she walked closer she saw him leaning against that same wall, already fast asleep. He actually looked fairly peaceful and she smiled at the sight. She stayed there watching him until the sun had sunken almost fully, before turning and walking the rest of the distance home. She fell asleep that night with ease.


End file.
